Self Confidence, An Overview

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Today is Monday, so this post is on self confidence.

Self confident people have three things in common.  They are optimistic.  They face their fears and deal with them.  They surround themselves with positive people.  In this post, I will take a look at all three of these success factors.

Optimism is first.  I’ve been watching the NCAA men’s and women’s basketball tournaments these past couple of weeks.  If you’re in the US, you know what great sporting events these are.  64 teams get selected to play in an elimination tournament.  The champions from some small conferences get to compete against the giant programs.  And, you know what?  Sometimes the little schools win.

I bring this up, to make a point about optimism.  The underdogs, win or lose, go out onto that court thinking that they can win.  They are optimistic.  They play their hearts out.  And, whether they win or lose, they can hold their heads up because they gave it their best shot.  Here’s to Davidson, Western Kentucky, Villanova, Siena, West Virginia, San Diego and Marquette.  All of these teams went further than they were supposed to in this year’s tournament.

Let’s move on to fear.  I always tell people to face their fears and take action.  Procrastination is the enemy of fear.  Action is the antidote.  I have been saying that I want to become an internet marketer for a few years now.  However, I have procrastinated.  I had any number of excuses, but that’s all they were – excuses.

This year, I decided that I was tired of excuses and would take some positive action.  I set a goal of generating 33% of my 2008 income from the internet.  Then I set some milestones to help me reach this goal.  I blogged about this in a post last week.  You can find it here.

When I look back at the past few years of procrastination, I realize that it was fear of failure that was holding me back.  This year, I decided that I was not going to let this fear paralyze me into inaction any more.  I’m on my way.  I will be opening a new website Common Sense in April.  I will let you know the grand opening date.  Even before my on line store opens, I can tell you that my self confidence has improved because I’ve taken some positive action.

Finally, let’s talk about positive people.  I’ve often said that mentors, by definition, are positive people.  I believe this is true because mentors are willing to devote their time and energy to helping other people succeed.  I urge my coaching clients to find a mentor to help them, and to find other peoples whom they can mentor.

I mentor a lot of people in my executive coaching work.  I find the experience to be rewarding.  It also builds my self confidence.  I feel good about myself when people take the advice I’ve given them and use it.  I’ve posted some testimonials from people I’ve mentored on my site.  If you go there, hit the “testimonials” button and you’ll see what I mean.

The common sense point for today is simple.  Self confidence is the first key to success.  If you don’t believe in yourself no one else will, and you’ll have a achieving any kind of meaningful success.  Here are three ways to build your self confidence.  1) Choose to be optimistic.  Look at the glass as more than half full.  When you believe that things will work out for the best, they often will.  2) Face your fears and deal with them.  Do something.  Don’t procrastinate.  When you do, you’ll find that action cures fear.  3) Find a mentor, someone to help guide you on your road to success.  3a) Find someone you can mentor.  Helping someone else learn is a great way to build your self confidence.

That’s it for today.  Thanks for reading.  Log on to my website for more common sense and to subscribe to my weekly newsletter Common Sense. 

I’ll see you around the web and at Alex’s Lemonade Stand.


PS: Speaking of Alex’s Lemonade Stand, my fundraising page is still open.  Please go to to read Alex’s inspiring story and to donate if you can.

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