Self Confidence, Relationships and Career Success

I saw a quote on Brian Tracy’s website the other day.  “Self-esteem is like a difficult-to-cultivate flower. It requires frequent nurturing that occurs when you keep your word and follow through on your promises.”

I like this idea.  It marries up two of the topics I preach to my career success coaching clients: self-confidence and relationship building.

Tweet 132 in my career advice book Success Tweets says, “Trust is the glue that holds relationships together.  The more you demonstrate trust in others, the more they will trust you.”

A strong network of colleagues and friends can book your self-confidence.  And in my opinion, building the relationships that will help you create a strong network comes down to two words: trust and abundance.

When you trust others you are willing to put yourself out there – to give with no expectation of return, to act in a non quid pro quo manner.  A while back, I did a blog post in which I mentioned a chapter I wrote in 42 Rules for Creating WE called, “There is no quid pro in WE”.  In that post, I pointed out that while there is nothing wrong with returning the favor when someone does you a good turn, waiting for others to help you is not a good idea when it comes to building relationships.  Successful people are willing to put themselves out there – to pay it forward.

Paying it forward takes trust, but it is great career advice.  Trust yourself to do for others with no guarantee of return.  Trust that others won’t take advantage of you.  Trust in the universe in that the good you put out will come back to you in unexpected ways.  Trust is the glue that holds relationships together.  The more you demonstrate trust in others, the more they will trust you.

Abundance is also important in building relationships.  People who come from an abundance mentality see life as a non-zero sum game; a perspective that holds that we can all be winners in the game of life.  They realize that there is enough for all of us – enough money, recognition, success, the things that people who come from a scarcity mentality see as in short supply.  People who come from a scarcity mentality see life as a zero sum game; if you win, I have to lose and vice versa.  Self-confident people are trusting and abundant.

I choose trust and abundance because I have seen them work in the real world – and I find that I am happier with myself when I am trusting and come from a place of abundance.  What do you choose – trust abundance and self-confidence, or mistrust scarcity and low self-esteem?  The choice you make can have a huge impact on your ability to build relationships and create the life and career success you want and deserve.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people are self-confident and good at building strong, mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in their lives.  They follow the career advice in Tweet 132 in Success Tweets.  “Trust is the glue that holds relationships together.  The more you demonstrate trust in others, the more they will trust you.”  A trusting attitude and abundance mentality are the best way to build relationships.  When you trust yourself, others and the universe, you will approach life from an abundance mentality.  You’ll be willing to give of yourself with no expectation of direct return.  This world view will make it easier for you to build and maintain the relationships that will help you create the successful life and career you want and deserve.

That’s my career advice on self-confidence and relationships. What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for taking the time to read my daily musings on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.


PS: If you haven’t already done so, I suggest that you check out my career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: Have you seen my membership site, My Corporate Climb?  It’s devoted to helping people just like you create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about it by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.


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